By Christopher K. House
2014 was a mixed bag for film fans. For every good film I saw, I swear I saw 10 horrible ones. Picking my top 5 was easy, picking the bottom 5 was tough because there was so much competition.
Hopefully, 2015 won't repeat the trend. But hey, there's a new Star Wars movie coming out so, it can't be that bad. Right?
5) Dumb And Dumber To
This one really let me down. I was so hyped to see Lloyd and Harry back at it. The trailer was hilarious, the story had potential, the cast was perfect. Then I saw the film. This is the story of a comedy that had all the funny parts in the trailer. The story turned out to be an exact rehash of the original. The jokes were dumb and the script was dumber.
4) A Haunted House 2
I can't say much about this film except, What is this supposed to be?
The first Haunted House movie was stupid and, this was just worse. Just like Scary Movie was a bad spoof of horror films, this was a bad spoof of bad spoof movies. There was nothing redeeming about this in any way.
3) I, Frankenstein
Frankenstein is an action hero. That should be enough to set you straight. If not, Frankenstein is an action hero that is ripped with a 6 pack. If your not running away by now, Frankenstein is an action hero that is ripped with a 6 pack and, is a martial arts master. I get it, this was based on a semi-popular graphic novel. Some graphic novels shouldn't hit the big screen. I, Frankenstein was an insult to the big green guy. Or, ripped muscle dude in this case.
2) Leprechaun Origins
Another horror reboot. This one was a reboot of the classic Warwick Davis opus about the little gold digger from Ireland. For a couple of years, WWE (yes the wrestling people) promoted the film and, it would be starring it's own "Hornswaggle". I was genuinely interested in this. Going in, I didn't see a trailer or any pictures of the titular character. When I eventually did see the leprechaun it was pretty shocking. It wasn't a leprechaun, it was a weird Jersey devil looking thing. For all the promoting WWE did for Hornswaggle, all you see of him was his beady eyes behind a horrible latex mask. Everything else was a horrible cheap puppet. No wise cracks, no humor, no good. This was a bad as a horror movie could get.
1) Left Behind
Not only is this the worst film of 2014, it is also a contender for the worst film EVER made. This film made me want to punch a kitten in the face. There are bad Nic Cage films, then there is this pile of garbage. Where to start? The rapture is a cool story and, could be a cool movie. Wait, it's already been done. This Is The End is how you do a rapture. This weird quasi-religious message was just horrible. I expected to see the name Uwe Boll somewhere in the credits but, I suppose it wouldn't be that bad then. This is a new low for Cage after years of bad films. Nic, it's OK to say no to a script here and there, you won't hurt any feelings.
2014 was a mixed bag for film fans. For every good film I saw, I swear I saw 10 horrible ones. Picking my top 5 was easy, picking the bottom 5 was tough because there was so much competition.
Hopefully, 2015 won't repeat the trend. But hey, there's a new Star Wars movie coming out so, it can't be that bad. Right?
5) Dumb And Dumber To
This one really let me down. I was so hyped to see Lloyd and Harry back at it. The trailer was hilarious, the story had potential, the cast was perfect. Then I saw the film. This is the story of a comedy that had all the funny parts in the trailer. The story turned out to be an exact rehash of the original. The jokes were dumb and the script was dumber.
4) A Haunted House 2
I can't say much about this film except, What is this supposed to be?
The first Haunted House movie was stupid and, this was just worse. Just like Scary Movie was a bad spoof of horror films, this was a bad spoof of bad spoof movies. There was nothing redeeming about this in any way.
3) I, Frankenstein
Frankenstein is an action hero. That should be enough to set you straight. If not, Frankenstein is an action hero that is ripped with a 6 pack. If your not running away by now, Frankenstein is an action hero that is ripped with a 6 pack and, is a martial arts master. I get it, this was based on a semi-popular graphic novel. Some graphic novels shouldn't hit the big screen. I, Frankenstein was an insult to the big green guy. Or, ripped muscle dude in this case.
2) Leprechaun Origins
Another horror reboot. This one was a reboot of the classic Warwick Davis opus about the little gold digger from Ireland. For a couple of years, WWE (yes the wrestling people) promoted the film and, it would be starring it's own "Hornswaggle". I was genuinely interested in this. Going in, I didn't see a trailer or any pictures of the titular character. When I eventually did see the leprechaun it was pretty shocking. It wasn't a leprechaun, it was a weird Jersey devil looking thing. For all the promoting WWE did for Hornswaggle, all you see of him was his beady eyes behind a horrible latex mask. Everything else was a horrible cheap puppet. No wise cracks, no humor, no good. This was a bad as a horror movie could get.
1) Left Behind
Not only is this the worst film of 2014, it is also a contender for the worst film EVER made. This film made me want to punch a kitten in the face. There are bad Nic Cage films, then there is this pile of garbage. Where to start? The rapture is a cool story and, could be a cool movie. Wait, it's already been done. This Is The End is how you do a rapture. This weird quasi-religious message was just horrible. I expected to see the name Uwe Boll somewhere in the credits but, I suppose it wouldn't be that bad then. This is a new low for Cage after years of bad films. Nic, it's OK to say no to a script here and there, you won't hurt any feelings.